There is a belief in the society of many countries, that it is normal for a man to enjoy sex freely but it is not acceptable for women.
Having a good sex life is one of the most important elements of a successful marriage.
However, due to the lack of sex education in some countries, and social and cultural restrictions, sexual problems are common among couples. This can lead to marital problems, deterioration of mental health, and even divorce.
There are many reasons for the failure of sex life in marriage or romantic relationships. However, experts are opinion that many people fail to solve these problems or seek expert help due to ignorance and incomprehension.
Specialist in Mental Health says that there are many factors that cause sexual problems between couples.
For a successful sexual relationship between two people, it is important for both of them to have an understanding and knowledge about sex. However, expert says that the lack of sexual education and lack of sexual knowledge in some countries, the shortcomings in the way of seeing sexuality, the gap in mutual understanding of sexuality, and conservative beliefs etc. are the causes.
“There is no concept that two people should get married if they are sexually compatible”
Why are there so many sexual problems among women?
There are all kinds of sexual problems in countries. That means there is a decrease in sexual desire and sexual stimulation caused by mental stress and pressure. Next, because sex is not seen as attractive, because there is no understanding about it when both people live a monotonous sex life, their sexual attraction towards each other decreases… When the attraction decreases, the desire decreases.
Women and men are looked at from different angles on the topic of cultural and media sexism in some countries. Although it is normal for a man to enjoy sex freely, the conservative belief that it is wrong for women to have sexual pleasure is still deeply rooted in this country’s society.
And men also have these personality disorders and lack of education, there are more men who enjoy sex, but prevent their girlfriends, partners, or wives from enjoying sex, or even dressing sexy.
Sometimes women get hurt when both of them go to look at sex conservatively without a chosen method. Sex is not fun for them. Sometimes it is painful for some. Then, because of ignorance in the first place, there are problems with using the postures seen in sex films.
There are misconceptions in some countries, that a wife’s duty is to satisfy her husband.
Sex education in some countries is at a very pathetic level. Most adults do not acquire the knowledge of sex through formal education built on a scientific basis, but through friends, blue films and mass media. Because of this, sexual problems arise between the couple.
Sometimes we have seen, the two do not have sex, but try lots of things to produce a child. VOG tells that ‘the children are not coming because you two are not having sex. The couples mentality, society and poor education are the main effects of this kind of situation.
Common sexual problems among women
The doctor says that vaginismus during sexual behaviour is very common in many countries (Especially in Asian countries)
The doctors mentioned that due to a lack of sexual education and adherence to superstitions, the muscles of the vagina become tight during the first intercourse and intercourse is not possible.
Asian countries are probably the most vaginismus in the world. Most of the time, girls are heavily controlled and sent to female-only schools, and parents raise their children by teaching them that this sexuality is bad and that their virginity should be protected. Because of this, there is a fear of sex. It is because of this fear that vaginismus occurs and the mentality about sex becomes a very scary thing in their mind because of this.
A condition called “psychological dyspareunia” is also seen in these countries, which causes pain to women during intercourse. A lot of the time, it’s because of the poor quality of pre-sexual intercourse, the doctor explains that this pain may occur because the woman is not sexually ready for vaginal intercourse without any romantic or pre-sexual activities. In this kind of situation, women’s mentality goes down and they will suffer a lot from this.
To truly enjoy sex, both parties must be treated equally. That’s when it becomes a fun process.”
Meanwhile, Asian women are reluctant to talk about their interests with their partner due to not talking about sex in public and fear that their partner will get the wrong idea about them by doing so. Experts said that issues such as forgetting sex life also affect this.
Common sexual problems among men
Doctors state that men are more prone to sexual problems, sexual hormonal problems and low fertility than women. They say that this is due to the inactive lifestyle that comes with urbanization.
Sexual impotence should not be hidden from family and society.
Also, sexual health is closely related to the physical health and mental health of men and women.
When it comes to young men and older men, most of them live physically inactive and mentally stressed lives. Because of this, their sexual health deteriorates. At the same time, when diseases such as diabetes, pressure, and cholesterol occur, the testosterone function in men’s bodies is weakened. That’s why it’s like menopause. Andropause occurs, say experts.
Men go through a condition called ‘Andropause’. They say that it occurs between the ages of 40-50. They say that this happens when we live under the pressure of a less joyous society and because of non-communicable diseases and certain medicines taken for them.
Andropause is a health condition that causes a decrease in the sex hormone testosterone, which reduces sexual satisfaction and desire in men, causing sexual impotence. This condition also occurs in women, and it is called ‘menopause’.
Due to these reasons, the doctor stated that premature ejaculation is common among men.
A woman needs some time to get some stimulation, to get into a state of mind. She doesn’t get that if the man has instant ejaculation. Then if he doesn’t have the sense to make the sexual process colourful, the woman doesn’t get any satisfaction. Because of that situation, mental problems come.
Sexual impotence due to non-communicable diseases
Family health experts explained how diabetes and high cholesterol levels interfere with sex life.
They say that due to diabetes, blood circulation in the body can be obstructed and sexual impotence can occur.
To put it very simply, the disease called diabetes causes a person’s blood vessels to narrow. Then we need to pay attention to five areas. That is, blood flow is reduced to those areas, the Brain, eyes, heart, kidneys, and legs. Now they also perform bypass surgery on the legs, because when the blood vessels become weak, the blood does not flow. Then the blood vessels that go to the genital areas also become weak. Because there is less blood flow there, the vitality decreases a little.
Doctors also say that there is a relationship between heart disorders and sexual impotence. They emphasized that if someone develops sexual impotence, he is also at risk of developing heart disease in the next few years.
They say that suspicion can develop between a couple due to lack of sex and said that there are times when the man becomes suspicious of his wife because he is unable to engage in sexual activities, and there are times when the wife thinks about him because the man refrains from engaging in sexual activities.
Addiction can also be a problem
Psychiatrists stated that when sex life becomes monotonous and the desire for sex decreases, men tend to try other sexual things such as going to ‘massage centres’, hanging out with sex workers, and starting unwanted relationships.
Some people become mentally addicted to blue films (Adults only). They go into a state of no desire without strong stimulation. At the same time, they are not stimulated by those normal sexual things, some develop sexual deviations and psychosexual disorders. They have a normal woman. “You don’t get sexual stimulation when you get together normally… Then you get sexual stimulation only by using unusual fetishes and taking some drugs,” they said.
Asian countries are where there are a lot of sexual stimulant drugs that can be obtained without a doctor’s prescription. The doctor says that there are people who are addicted to these. This conflicts with one’s mental health and the bond of marriage.
They stated that because young women are rejecting sexual things and turning to religion unnecessarily, young people can resort to behaviours like watching blue movies (Adults only).
Doctors point out that uncontrollable alcohol consumption and alcohol addiction also cause problems in marriages. They also mention that this has become a big problem in rural environments where less educated people live.
What to do if there is a sexual problem in your family?
If a person or their partner has any psychosexual problem, it will negatively affect their relationship. Some people suffer from these problems, either because they fail to recognize that they or their partner has a problem, or because they don’t even know about it, and they lead an unhappy life.
Psychiatrists explain how to recognize whether he or his partner has a psychosexual problem or any other mental problem that can affect their sex life.
Many people do not know if they have a problem even when they meet their boyfriend or girlfriend. There are especially young women and men who have deficiencies in anger management, jealousy, patience, etc. But some do not see it as a problem. Others still think conservatively.” It will be okay after marriage’, ‘It will be okay after having a child, and ‘This is happening because of the stress of work’. They think of strange excuses.”
These are not ordinary things. If the other person persecutes you, controls you in an unusual way, is jealous of you, or tortures you while you are in a romantic relationship, it is an unusual situation. As a society, we should not be afraid to talk about it. It is their right.
The doctor also advised that one should take one’s spouse to a psychiatrist or a psychiatrist, as such behaviour could be a symptom of a mental illness.
Jealousy is a weakness, not a part of love. That sexual jealousy comes a little. But it cannot come to the level of harassing the other person. It is a mistake to say that jealousy comes from too much love. If someone is attacked, it is too much. “If it’s controlling, it’s not a part of love, it’s a personality disorder or a symptom of a mental illness,” the doctor explained.
Sexual responses are biological, If problems can occur in all systems of the body, then this system is not the only one that has problems, nor will it resolve automatically. If it does not resolve automatically, we need to change our behaviour for that. It is important to receive counselling and awareness. Get treatment. It’s not something to be ashamed of or humiliated.
In treating sexual problems between couples,
- The first step is to admit that there is a sexual problem between the two. For that, the two should discuss it openly. Because sex is an important part of one’s life, one must understand that a solution to that problem must be provided.
- Be open to the possibility of seeking psychiatric counselling or medical treatment.
- One should see a specialist who can provide proper scientific treatment without following informal treatment methods or superstitions.
- If counselling does not resolve the problem, the cause of the problem may be physiological. 40% – 60% of problems like lack of sexual desire, male sexual dysfunction etc. are biological and there are successful treatments for this.
It is not only common mental illnesses that are treated through psychiatric clinics in hospitals. Sexual problems between couples are also treated in these. Behavioural therapy, psychotherapy, and sometimes drug therapy are used here.