What is this?
This word is very unfamiliar to us. Boundaries are limits. Healthy boundaries are good boundaries.
We hate to keep boundaries. We think it’s a very bad job. Because we are used to giving our best in everything since childhood. Even in difficult times, our heads are made to say “no, no, no, it’s not good to say words”. So even if they lose themselves, we are impatient.
But you know?
You have to take care of yourself before everyone else in this world. One of the basic steps in self-care is keeping boundaries. You can protect your mental freedom to the maximum extent by determining the limits in your personal life and living your life accordingly.
Yes, I know, First, when you try to create boundaries, you will hear many stories.
- Oh, he has changed now.
- It seems to be gone now.
- Greatness.
- Nothing is said.
- There is something to hide.
Never mind…
You have the right to maintain healthy boundaries for yourself. It is not selfishness.
01. No, no, say no. Reject the obvious.
Say no to things that are difficult for you and that you don’t like. Say no to things you can’t give. Reject the things you don’t want. Say no to things you can’t make time for.
This is not about hurting someone’s heart and getting what you want somehow. Rejection can also be done very politely. That’s the right way.
It is a very bad habit to do something with difficulty and then mumble or read aloud because you can’t listen to others.
Only take on as much as you can handle. Reduce allocating space for things that are unnecessary pressure, bother, and burden, things that need to be spent strangely, and things that have no meaning that will hurt your heart.
02. Stay away from fake contacts.
Nowadays there are mostly fake connections. To put it mildly, distance yourself from dealings with people who smile on the surface but are filled with hypocrisy and envy. Beware of people who try to tie your stomach at work, people who falsely praise you but are not there for you when you need it. They are the most dangerous.
03. Keep routines, rules, regulations, and policies for yourself.
Living in a busy world with different roles, this is very important for you to have a work-life balance.
- I don’t answer calls after 8 pm
- Please leave a message before taking a call.
- Reply to office emails only during office hours
- Trips, gatherings, and meet-ups only if I really want to.
- Weekends are reserved for my family
Maintain some discipline in your life like this. It’s very convenient.
04. Don’t let them play with your feelings.
Don’t let your partner or mother and father make fun of your love, sadness, anger and stress. We sometimes make jokes like this to our closest people. But continuing to make jokes is bullying. You don’t want to be anyone’s bite.
Also, separate yourself from situations that give you mixed feelings, can’t say something clearly, and confuse you.
Beware of people who friend zone you sometimes, become lovers at other times, only remember to cut you loose in the middle of the night, use you to share your sorrows, and who only bet on your feelings.
04. Don’t let other people’s stress take away from you.
There are some people who take out their anger, sadness, impulse, and arias from another person. Don’t be that victim. Don’t let the inferiority complex of losing opportunities from childhood, social evil, and discomfort cover you, stand up for yourself to protect yourself. You don’t have to eat guts to make someone’s body tingle. I don’t want to hear bad words.
This fact is hidden in many domestic violence and divorce cases in Sri Lanka. Don’t let yourself see red flags and expect them to happen later. Resist at first.
05. Not everyone needs to be told everything.
You are not bound to explain your personal matters and decisions to everyone. Especially since you can’t live to please everyone. No matter how you are, the person looking for a bed will do the same. So don’t justify everything for fear of it. If you know what you are doing, work on your plan. Be careful about the people on social media and your content. Choose things in life and share them with people.
06. Keep privacy, time, and personal space.
Privacy is important to everyone. As individuals, even your partner should respect that. If your documents, phones, diaries, and journals are raising suspicion without your consent, there is a problem with your credibility.
And no matter how busy you are, set aside time for yourself. At least eat and drink what you like freely and have time to think.
Maintain personal space. Make room for you to enjoy yourself instead of being a person who goes to sleep exhausted from morning to night. You should pick up the phone to call your partner and listen to your favourite song and watch a movie. Don’t lose control of your life so much that you have to ask permission to go to the bathroom.
We as humans should be humane. Those who don’t respect these things are the ones who kill even when the data is on the phone, fight over the last seen, make unnecessary suspicions, and unfair restrictions and finally go to extreme lengths even to the point of harming lives.
07. Avoid unnecessary drama and arguments.
Don’t get caught up in useless things that will waste your time from people who are waiting to get involved and provoke you. Don’t talk about big topics with people who think only they are right, who put others down, and who can’t have a meaningful conversation.
Some people can’t sleep unless they eat someone else’s head. Can’t stand it when someone is smiling happily and living beautifully. So a departed soul pulls a story and destroys that happiness and tries to enjoy someone’s sadness. Don’t show that kind of audience-pleasing drama. Be smart.
Life is not meant to be maintained with difficulty and pain. One of the best ways to protect yourself your mental health and mental freedom is to maintain boundaries.
Also, learn to respect other people’s boundaries. That is how a society with advanced morals is built.