Health education As a parent, there are many things you can do to help your children, and helping children learn to talk about their feelings and emotions is one of them.
Why is a child’s mental health important?
Your child’s mental health is important because good mental health helps your child perform better in school, build stronger relationships, and become a high-functioning adult. Skills that children and teens learn to manage their emotions carry with them throughout their lives.
What are examples of mental illness in children?
Examples of mental illnesses in children include anxiety, depression, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and autism spectrum disorders. Disability (ASD).
It is useful to think of mental disorders in two parts: internalizing disorders and externalizing disorders.
Internalizing disorders are primarily concerned with thoughts and feelings. Children who experience internalizing disorders such as anxiety or depression do not always show obvious symptoms that they are in trouble.
Externalizing disorders manifest in specific behaviours. For example, children with the oppositional defiant disorder may have temper tantrums, refuse to listen to adults’ instructions, or act out on others more often than other children their age. ADHD is another example of a disorder with clear, outward symptoms.
What causes mental health problems in children?
Among children ages, 6 to 17, about 1 in 6 will experience at least one mental health disorder. There is no way to predict whether a child will develop mental illness, and there is no magic formula for preventing it. But experts agree that children who experience certain situations or events are more likely to develop psychological problems. These conditions or events are called risk factors.
Individual risk factors
These risk factors are normal parts of adolescence, but when combined (or extreme) with additional risk factors can lead to mental disorders.
Examples of individual risk factors include:
- low self-esteem
- anxiety
- Poor concentration
- Poor social skills
- Insecure attachment
- Early puberty
Family risk factors
Family risk factors are usually related to the psychological and mental health of a child’s parents.
Examples of wool risk factors:
- Parental depression
- Parent-child conflict
- Poor parenting
- Negative family environment (may include substance abuse in parents)
- Child abuse/violence
If any of these risk factors apply to you or your caregiving partner, help is available. These services, which offer immediate help, are recommended by the US Department of Health and Human Services.
School, neighbourhood and community risk factors
Events and situations outside the home can cause mental illness. Again, these factors are not common and may simply be a part of growing up, but in some children, they lead to mental health challenges.
Examples of social, neighbourhood, and community risk factors include:
- Equivalent rejection
- Poor academic achievement
- Poverty
- Violence or stressful events in the community
- Bullying or stressful events at school
If you are concerned about your child’s learning environment, talk to their teacher, counsellor or school administrator.
When should you worry about your child’s mental health?
Children’s mental health is just as important as their physical health. Watch out for both.
If your child has mood swings or changes in behaviour that last more than a few weeks and affect their ability to function, talk to your child’s health care provider.
How do you know if your child has mental health problems?
Common warning signs of mental health problems in children include:
- Changes in school performance
- Excessive worry or anxiety, for example, fighting to avoid bed or school
- Hyperactive behaviour
- Constant nightmares
- Frequent disobedience or aggression
- Gets angry frequently
- Self-harm
- Spills or excessive irritation
- To lose or gain body weight
- Frequent stomach aches or headaches
None of these problems is necessarily related to mental illness, so before you jump to any conclusions, have your child see a health professional.
How can you improve your child’s mental health?
Experts say that an important part of positive mental health is a healthy lifestyle. It includes:
- Eating a healthy diet including fruits, vegetables and lean proteins
- Get exercise for at least 60 minutes a day
- Getting enough sleep – at least nine hours for children ages 6 to 12 and at least eight hours for children 13 and older
- Practising meditation, mindfulness or relaxation techniques
It’s also important to talk about your children’s mental health.
How should you talk about your child’s mental health?
As with anything you do in life, talking about your feelings and emotions gets easier with practice. Don’t think of talking about mental health as a snap. Make it a part of your daily routine.
This effort starts with you. Talk openly with your children about your own feelings. If you feel sad or angry, explain to your child how you feel. In this way, children find it okay to share negative feelings. If you keep all your feelings inside, your child will too. It’s not healthy for either of you.
Every day, ask your children at least one question about their feelings, emotions, relationships, and other factors that affect their mental health. Don’t force them to tell you, give them the opportunity to share. Pay attention to sudden changes in what they say or what they say. Serious changes can be a warning sign that something is wrong.
Talking points for mental health issues
Ask direct questions that invite your child to provide answers.
- Watch out for: Depression, frequent crying, looks unusually low
Question: Have you been feeling sad lately?
- Beware of: Bullying, irritability, and lack of friends
Question: Does anyone at school mean to you?
- Be aware of Anxiety, violence at school or in the community
Question: Do you ever feel scared?
- Take care: School performance
Question: What are your favourite classes? Is there anything you don’t like?
- Beware of: Frequent nightmares
Question: Do you see familiar places or people in your nightmares?
- Beware of: Frequent temper tantrums
Question: Do you know why [EVENT] made you so angry?
Here are some additional tips for talking to your kids about mental health, especially if you have a specific concern.
Be age appropriate
You can help children open up about their feelings by explaining and giving them appropriate communication tools.
Preschoolers pay more attention to what they see. If they see you or a stranger getting angry, they will notice and may want to understand why. Similarly, showing or drawing an emoji can give them a way to share with you how they’re feeling rather than trying to think of the right emotion for them.
School-age children are trying to understand the world around them and they ask a lot of questions. It is normal for school-age children to fear for the safety of family and friends. Don’t dismiss their questions or concerns. Take them seriously.
Young people are independent and more likely to look for information on the Internet or by talking to their friends than by asking their parents. This is natural, but with something as important as mental health, there is a danger if they get the wrong information. It is very important that you keep tabs on their feelings and emotions, so you can get the right information at the right time.
Be honest about your own mental health
Whether or not you have a mental illness, everyone deals with feelings of anxiety, sadness, and confusion.
What you do to combat those feelings—whether it’s taking prescribed medication, jogging every morning, or meditating for 15 minutes before bed—are actions your child will surely know about. Just as you share the importance of brushing your teeth every day, share the importance of maintaining mental health with your children.
Make sure your child feels safe and comfortable
If you sense warning signs from your children or feel like you need to have an in-depth conversation, make sure you have them readily available. Don’t surprise them or spring the conversation about them at an unexpected time (it’s easier if you make a point to talk about mental health every day, not just when problems arise).
If your kids react badly to what you say, it’s time to back up the conversation rather than push them and make them feel uncomfortable. Explain why you are asking these questions and why it is important to speak up.
Listen; Do not diagnose or treat
First, listen. Resist the urge to label what your children are feeling or offer an opinion on what they should do. This makes them less likely to share in the future. Try not to react strongly to what they say.
The most important thing you can do is to fully understand how your child is feeling. Talk to your child’s healthcare provider to decide what the best next steps are.
If you feel your child needs to talk to a professional right away or may need to in the future, give them information about suicide/mental health by calling Lifeline, available 24 hours a day.
Creating a mental health circle
Given that suicide is the second leading cause of death among children, adolescents and young adults, it is common for parents to worry about their child’s mental health. Of course, worrying about your child’s mental health affects your own mental health. Being open with your child and giving them space to share their feelings every day will ultimately be good for both of you. It doesn’t have to stop when they’re 18; you can help support each other throughout your life.